Breaking News: An Autozombiography by N. J. Hallard

Author:N. J. Hallard [Hallard, N. J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Horror, Zombies
ISBN: 9781447555438
Google: n_GrcQAACAAJ
Amazon: B00466HRXM
Barnesnoble: B00466HRXM
Goodreads: 9301370
Publisher: Lulu.com
Published: 2010-08-26T04:00:00+00:00

The bodies piled up. I should have been wishing we had the respirators and chemical gloves that we’d left down the path. I should have been wishing we had some water. I should have been wishing I hadn’t shouted at Lou, who had picked herself up and kept on fighting although she still hadn’t looked at me. I just carried on silently, grimly. The zombie advance thinned during the midday heat, allowing the others sometimes as much as ten minutes to cat-nap in shifts. The flies were getting worse in the heat as Jay opened two tins of plum tomatoes for fluid and shared them out. Al declined the warm watery pulp and even Lou thought twice about it when she started dry heaving at her first gulp. I wordlessly opened some sweet corn which they both took a sip from. Then we all saw something which stopped us in our tracks.

Lumbering towards Lou was a traffic warden, his clothing almost complete if a little dusty. He had no obvious injuries, and even had his radio still attached to his belt. At first I thought – we all thought – he was still alive, and needed help. Vaughan even cried out for Lou to stop when she raised her nail guns and unloaded them into his face and neck, but he stumbled and just carried on undaunted, although Lou’s reaction was enough to spur us all toward him.

I don’t know who got to him first, but there was little left when we were done. Jay puked, and we all stopped and looked at each other. Such a minor authority figure would have been a source of laughter to us, even treated with mild contempt. Now, though, the raw sight of a uniformed human we’d bludgeoned to paste laying at our feet made us all sick. We had to carry on without the renewable vigour that made possible our efforts of the previous day and mistakes were made: Jay nearly took off my ear when taking a swing with his sword, and Al had been hit in the calf with a stray nail. All of us were in tears at some stage after that; Lou in the shade of the tree, knees to her forehead; Jay as he fought; Al quietly, choked; and Vaughan openly and wetly, his round face to the sun. I was shuddering constantly, great waves of sickness pushing tears to my cheeks and hot coals to the back of my throat. It began to make less and less sense. In the old zombie movies, that was the time and the mental place in which the principal characters usually got eaten.

As sunset reached across the blue sky the wind started to drop. No bird sang as the stench of rotten eggs built in the stillness, and we battled on. Less of them seemed able to make the climb at that point, but that didn’t stop some lucky freaks and a few of the fresher ones. We must have destroyed a thousand of them between the five of us and the two dogs.

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